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It seems like there isn't much to expect for Christmas this year.
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Reportedly, Santa's sleigh was repossessed.
The North Pole is in foreclosure, and the elves have been laid off.
But come on, aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?
You know, the birth of Santa.
Or eating, drinking, and being merry?
Waiting For Company. Olive Garden Dinner: December 23, 2023
When you don't want to be judged as to whether you've been naughty or nice?
Regardless of all the desperation, the anxiety and the woes, I know that in our hearts, there remains a spark of what Christmas is really all about.
It is not so much about opening gifts as opening our hearts. Snuggled in the warmth of a fireplace, sharing a grandchild's joy.
It is filling our cup in abundance with love.
In this spirit, I send you all glad tidings and the warmest wishes for a Merry Christmas.
May this season fill your
home with
warmth,
light and joy!
It snowed last night.
8 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 am - A feminist passed by and asked why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 am - So, I made a snow woman.
8:20 am - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 am - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies were food and shouldn't be used to decorate snow figures.
They also called me a racist because the snow couple was white.
8:30 am - I replaced the carrot nose with tofu and used food coloring to make one of the snow couple black and be more racially inclusive.
8:39 am - The middle eastern neighbor across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered. When I didn't comply, the police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 am - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted a woman in a domestic role.
8:43 am - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 am - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snow women. I replied, Snowballs. I was branded a sexist.
9 am - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:29 am - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
10 am - I cried into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman.
There ain't no moral to this story.
It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
(Source Unknown)
Best Of The Best
A so-called anti-ageist group reportedly had spoken out against what it considered a tacky song that, for lack of better words, mocked someone's dead grandma.
I, for one, think Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer is hilarious. It gets my vote for Best Of The Best Christmas Song.
It recounts how Grandma, who has been drinking too much eggnog, stumbles out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.
The signs are damning.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
May she rest in eternal peace...
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| Pencil Sketch: AVS, 11 years old |
Tee-hee!
Reindeer says, Fake news!
See Grandma!
Here spotted hand-feeding a semi-wild but friendly deer.
Grandma's still alive,
which is pretty cool...
And that's the best news ever.
Nara Deer Park, Japan: April 2019
Best Of The Best
Watching movies is my one distraction. Especially on a lazy Christmas Day after gorging on food.
The best of the best?
Elf.
Nothing spreads Christmas cheer quite like this 2003 American Christmas cult classic.
Buddy, adopted and raised by Papa Elf in the North Pole, embarks on a quest through seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, past the sea of twirly-swirly gum drops and into the Lincoln Tunnel in pursuit of his biological father in New York City.
This holiday film is full of heartwarming scenarios that are sure to have you smiling like Buddy all season long.
Here are some of them. See if you remember what's going on here.
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| (1) (2) (Don't scroll down until you've thought out your answer). ANSWER (1) Buddy decides to sweeten his spaghetti meal a bit by adding syrups, candy, and marshmallows into it. He then burps loudly. (2) While in his dad's office, Buddy encounters what he believes to be another elf, Miles, a dwarf. He unintentionally upsets him by calling him an elf repeatedly. He then asks if Santa knows he left the workshop. They duke it out in the end. |
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| (3) (4) (Don't scroll down until you've thought out your answer). ANSWER (3) 'Over-sized' Buddy goes to school. (4) Buddy is recruited to work as an 'elf' in a store. |
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| (5) |
(Don't scroll down until you've thought out your answer).
ANSWER
(5) Buddy and Jovie, his dead-pan love interest, now married, visit Papa Elf.
**********************
So, how did you fare?
When I come to think of it, for me, besides the holiday cheer that it brings, my best memory of all is that watching Elf, year to year, has always been a shared experience.
I'm sitting at home, chilling, and watching with family. And my singular joy is that we're all laughing together at the same thing.
I don't think that I'd ever be a cotton-headed ninny muggins too old for Elf or the simple gift of togetherness.
Best Of The Best
Still... nothing beats a home-cooked meal. - Anonymous
For us, growing up, Noche Buena meant Mum's Christmas-Day-especial only.
Although Mum was frugal for most of the year, she surprisingly splurged for Christmas so that we could have food items reserved only for this event.
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Clockwise from top right: tuna macaroni salad, sweet garbanzo beans, queso de bola |
The lowly pan de sal or queso puti (cottage cheese) from the corner sari-sari?
No way.
Daricreme?
Nope.
This was the time of the year when she bought a whole loaf of pan Amerikano, queso de bola, and real butter from Cherry's grocery store.She'd also fill her basket with ingredients for her annual home-cooked tuna macaroni salad and sweet garbanzo beans.
And the crowning glory of it all?
Hamonado.
Filipino ham with a deliciously sticky pineapple-brown sugar glaze.
Sweet, moist, and flavorful, Mum's hamonado always took center stage on the dining table.
I remember watching her marinate the leg of ham in pineapple juice, days before.
On Christmas Day, the ham was simmered in the sweet juice for hours, then pan-broiled to create that sweet golden glaze.
Afterward, its fat side was scored in a classic diamond-shaped pattern by running a sharp knife through the fat, then rubbed generously with brown sugar and decorated with pineapple slices.
The table would be set. Food was ready.
We would gather around the table, eating with gusto, passing scraps under the table to the dogs.
A full belly and a happy heart.
Mum's Christmas-Day-especial meal was life’s greatest gift.
The perfect family Christmas fare ever.
