A Meijer Run

A Day In The Life

A MEIJER RUN

(Based on a real event)

Scene I: At Meijer

Hubby: Prithee, go fetch cherries, too.

Mwa: How stands the hour?

Hubby: Hasten. I pray you, don't tarry.

Mwa: I must away then. I shall find you anon at cashier's.

Mwa strolls the aisles

(Picking up wads of yarn): Beautiful yarn! Aye, and more. Yellow and pink and vermilion.

Meanwhile, by cashier's

Hubby (after ten minutes, tapping his foot and scowling like a thundercloud): Fie! fie!

Back to store aisles

Mwa (passing by the chips aisle): BOGO? This I think, there's no woman so vain that would refuse so fair an offered discount. 

(In the frozen section): Well, praised be the gods for Marie Callender's pies on sale. (Aside): There's not a sale I meet but doth salute me. A pecan pie for me and a lemon meringue pie for me, too. Very good, very excellent good.

An hour later

Mwa (victorious after perusing all of Meijer's discount sales): Never so weary. I can no further go. My legs can keep no pace with my desires. Better now hie to get the fresh fruit Hubby doth desire. Then to cashier's to pay.

Hubby (his brow deeply furrowed, looking completely miserable): Now by the faith of my fathers, what took you so long?

Mwa oblivious. They depart.

***

Scene II: Kitchen back home

Mwa: Empty the basket, I say. I would fain behold your eyes when you see these fresh, red, ripe strawberries you had asked me to fetch.

Hubby (his face with a strain revealing itself in the shadows around his eyes, the tense set of his jaw): AARGH!

(To be continued)