I Nixed An Offer To Write For The Collegian

Things You Didn't Know About Me

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. - Tony Robbins

I panicked when Prof Arce, giving me a prolonged, curious look, said, See me in my office after class. He had just handed back our exegesis of an intriguing poem, The Anchored Angel. 

Did he see through my pseudo-expertise?

You see, popular literary criticism identified fate and freewill as the theme of the poem, which was probably what most of the class went with in their analysis. But I got leaked info from a Comparative Lit senior that the poem was a metaphor for the sexual act.

I went with that thread in my paper.

Being naive on details of intimacy, I used a borrowed sex primer to juxtapose each love-making metaphor against the applicable clinical description. (Note: it was an eye-opening discovery for me.)

I was so scared that he'd grill me to authenticate my knowledge. I was surely going to be bust.

Thank goodness, Prof had only one thing to say when I went to see him. How would you like to write for the Collegian?

I must have murmured a few words, then excused myself and exited.

So, did I?

You would have guessed from the blog title. I didn't.

I know you're asking, Why???!!

Did I not dream to be a journalist? See my name in print? Get published?

Yes, to all these.

I loved writing. I'd always wanted to live in a crazy, fantasy world with unrealistic expectations. I could shake off everything as I wrote. My sorrows disappeared, my courage reborn.

But at the time, I was laser-focused on only one thing: to graduate with honors. 

I had to prioritize and make a choice.

As it was, my plate was already full - reading from two to three novels in two weeks, poring through exegetics, and writing analytical studies. 

I'd known fully well that graduating from a prestigious university could land me a good job, but to graduate with honors on top of that? I could have whatever job I wanted.

Did I regret it?

Not for one minute. 

That singular moment was but one step on my journey. I made the mark on no less than the UP Collegian adviser himself, a renowned Filipino writer. 

I just didn't raise the bar. I shot it into the stratosphere.