I Used Beer In My Hair

Things You Didn't Know About Me

I had to save part of my meager pocket money for my dog Snoopy's SPCA meds, and didn't have any to spare for Dippity Do hair gel or Blossom 'n Bloom hair spray.

So I used the tried-and-true substitute highly recommended by women experts at the time.

Beer.

It was free for me. I only had to get three-fourths of a cup from Little Boy's San Miguel, refill the bottle to its original level with water, and recap it.

You may wonder, how did that work??!!

Let me tell 'ya. Here's how to create that big and high pouffed-up beehive hair style.

(1) Plaster the entire head of hair with your pilfered stunning, pale golden lager. 

(2) Use large stick rollers to roll segments inwards working your way up towards your roots. Caution: it will be a sticky process.

(3) Secure with bobby pins.

(4) Proceed until all sections are rolled.

(5) Leave rollers in for about 15-30 minutes. Depending on your taste, either enjoy the enticingly pleasant aroma and mouth-watering, smooth, slight hoppy note of your head; or endure its distinct bitter hop character. 

(6) When you start feeling buzzed, it's time to remove the rollers.

(7) Lightly separate your curls (they will be ultra-stiff). Gently backcomb to form a distinctly cone-shaped, towering height of hair.

(8) Tousle some curls in front for bangs.

(9) Admire your aristocratic European look. You'd be erupting with awesome.

¡Salud!

P.S. Look the other way when Lil' Boy complains about his beer tasting stale and cardboard-like.