Take A Break

 Insights

I had planned on presenting the perfectly profound insight for this series finale. One that befitted a Socratic conversation with evaluative questions. Perhaps a Cartesian thought, or maybe a Sartreian existential idea of authenticity.

Rocky basks in the sunset next to a seawall
of basalt rocks. Photo: V.E.V. Waikiki Beach,
April 21, 2021 

But three days ago, I chanced upon Rocky.

When I saw her seven-and-a-half foot long and 500-pound body with its light-colored belly and gray lanugo fur-covered back plopped on the sand behind our Waikiki condo...

... I realized that all this blog needed was this simple yet prudent insight.

No day is so hard it can't be fixed with a nap.

Rocky is a Hawaiian monk seal, an ilio-holo-i-ka-uaua, which means "dog running the rough waters."

       

The thick fold of skin around her neck which resembles the hood of a monk's robe gives this web-footed aquatic mammal the monicker monk seal.

Rocky is famous. Some four years ago, she had a pup on this very same spot. Since then, she has come back yearly, staying for days to molt on the beach.

Just look at her. Undisturbed. Literally laid-back. For her and would-be Rockys, I offer this accolade in haiku form.*

Snatch winks when you must,

Tune into the soul-soothing

Rhythm of the waves.

Betwixt sky above,

Sand below, stillness within,

Sink in oblivion.

Like flowing waters,

Let peace flow in the ocean

Of your restless soul.

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* - Haiku: a Japanese poem of seventeen syllables in three lines of five, seven and five

Read The Fine Print

Insights

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Philippine Wedding, 1971

It has been said that getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get some romance, a few tragedies, and lots of comedy.

True.

We've had it all and more.

 

Alongside this smorgasbord of marital genre are lessons I've learned along the way. 

Marriage, as it were, is like twirling a baton or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it. 

25th Anniversary. Star Princess Cruise, 1996

Early on, I came to figure out that love was blind and marriage was an eye opener.

Thus, if you're thinking about making the walk down the aisle (or into city hall), protect yourself against unexpected disclaimers by bringing along a magnifying glass and reading the fine print of the marriage contract.

On a positive note, I've realized that a happy marriage is when one snores and the other one does not hear it. 

27th Anniversary. Natchez Cruise, 1998

Overall, marriage has taught me loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities I wouldn’t have needed if I'd stayed single.

Three months short of 49th Anniversary. Waikiki Beach, 2020

Today, I'm proud to say that despite the odds, Hubby and I made it to fifty years without one of us either ending up dead or in jail. I call that a win.

Four months to Golden. New Year's Eve. Ohio, 2020

Just as we've enjoyed the awesome perk of annoying each other all this time, wish us luck that we may find it exciting to keep doing so in the future. 

50 Golden Years. Waikiki, April 17, 2021 

A Joyous and Colorful Greeting. "happy 50th Anniv esseary!" [sic]. Watercolor print by First Granddaughter, 9 years old. Waikiki, April 17, 2021       

Greet The World Like A Princess

Insights

Sometimes we tell our stories. But sometimes our stories tell us especially if it's a beautiful one like the classic children's Cinderella, or as two-year-old Eldest Daughter used to say, Cindeweia.

She loved it so. 

I understand the appeal. Cinderella is sweet and kind, and her story is one of true triumph. And not only that, it teaches important life lessons.

Be kind.

Especially to animals. They have feelings, too. And besides, you never know when you’re going to need those mice to pull your carriage.

Always help others in need.

If an old lady with a scarf around her head and glittery eyes extends a gnarled hand toward you and asks for water, offer her some dinner, too. You never know. She could be your fairy godmother in disguise. And make sure you have some pumpkins lying around in case she wants to turn one of them into a carriage.

Have courage.

Life can get a little overwhelming. Your stepmother will make you clean the floors and you have stepsisters who wear matching dresses, bad attitudes, and totally random hairstyles.

I get it.

But one day you’ll be at a ball with someone special who turns out to be a prince and your waist will be eighteen inches and your dress will be sweeping and your hair will be sparkly and you will be dancing like a princess.

Be true to who you are.

Even when the magic ends and you are back home in the attic, ignore the fact that you are having a really bad hair day and that you’re in a torn gown with soot on your face.

None of that matters. True beauty comes from within.

Through the years, I've seen Eldest Daughter grow up, a princess at heart, from whom I've gleaned these life long insights. 

To this day, she daily teaches me. 

Hold your head high.

And greet the world like a princess. 

Wartime Wedding

On April 9, 1942 Filipino and American officials in command of Bataan, a province in the Central Luzon region of the Philippines, formally surrendered to the Japanese. Through a radio broadcast, the announcement was made to the world.

Bataan has fallen. 

The date has lived in infamy as the Fall of Bataan.

I'm not sure why, but my parents decided to wed on the same date a couple of years after. Thus, it had been a family joke that their marriage foreboded a fall. We were not sure for which one of them (LOL).

Here's Mum at 26 years and Dad at 24 on their wedding day.

Standing behind: Nanay Ching (Dad's youngest sister), Auntie Tessie (Mum's sister), Nanay Taba referred to as Fat Mother in previous blogs (Dad's mother), Lolo Gorio (Mum's father), and two groomsmen whom I don't know.

The die had been cast.

The rest is history. 

This One's For You

Insights

When words fail, music speaks.- Anonymous

It's a little bit funny... this feeling inside... hmm... hmm...

Do you have a habit like this? One minute you're rinsing baby drip-catcher bibs and the next minute, you're humming Elton John's classic ballad Your Song.

An anthem for the ages.

Totally old school.

I couldn't help it.

At the time, I didn't know that it peaked for ten weeks inside the Top of the Pops on the UK singles chart. What I do know was that it was Younger Daughter's go-to disc whenever she played with her Fisher Price Close N' Play record player.

 

She would sit on the floor, put the plastic disc on the player, and slam the cover. As the singer crooned on, she seemed to lapse into a complete vacuum as she picked out the song's nuances.

Oh I know it's not much but it's the best I can do.

With great depth and attention to her focus and her eyes dancing, she looked like a music fan who could listen to this song over and over.  

She was only two and rocking Elton John.

I must confess that I had found this on-demand listening a total delight. It was music at its best, whenever you wanted it.

Like her, I had become totally lost in the scratchy recording of the song's sentiment.

 You can tell everybody this is your song.

My eyes drifted half-open, lazily. Holding a smile, I savored the uplifting message.

How wonderful life is while you're in the world.

It was simple, and yet it shone with a clarity so sharp and poignant that I knew it would remain lodged in my heart.

 My gift is my song.

And this one's for you.

Then And Now

Soundscapes

Time has a way of eternally looping us in the same configurations. What has been before will be again. - Tanya Tagaq

The morning star had winked its tired eye. The alarm from my Motorola phone roused me up. I lay in bed for a few moments in the gray light of dawn, orienting myself to the day at hand.

What's on today's to-do list? Check my email? Search for new amigurumi patterns? Edit my upcoming blog?

As the sun rose, it lit up my room, exposing the corner for corners and the door for a door. I rose to look about me. It was a bitingly clear day.

Ah, yes. First, chamomile tea.

Then feed the blue jays and robins. The feeders must be empty, especially now that a renegade raccoon had come at night to feed on leftover millet.

And the deck floor - such a hot mess! Lilac florets and empty seed husks all over. It looked like it was auditioning for an episode of porches gone wild.

So I began sweeping up with my deluxe, rubber bristles broom. I liked its metal handle with comfort grip. It was extra wide for larger areas but ergonomic enough that it could grab dirt from hard-to-reach spots.

In consonance, I heard the sound of birds. Sounds of the city, sounds of the day, talkative young ones on their way to the bus stop. 

In my mind, I heard the sound of voices coming from a new generation.

My precious First Daughter softly intoning, Mum, did you see the chocolate almonds I got for you? I know it's your favorite.

Second Daughter, ever-attentive to my needs, sniffing my infuser. Umm... Tahitian vanilla. Infuser working all right for you, Mum? 

The sweet voice from my beautiful First Granddaughter asking, Grandma, can we play with LPSes? 

The excited voice from our Dirty Dawgs sports player par excellence urging Lolo, Wanna catch ball?

Our precocious Second Granddaughter telling Jach (that's how she calls Lolo), I have an idea. Let's make fancy drinks. You have strawberries and mint, Grandma? - and then purring, I love this family.

Many sounds, all tangled up. 

All of them running together.

Then and now, combined, fused. 

In a go-round. 

Delectable soundscapes of my life.

Celebration of Spring Equinox

From The Archives 

First Daughter wrote this on my birthday last year.

*****************************************************************

Today, March 21st, my mother turns 75 years old. 

March 21 is often the first day of spring, when the vernal equinox occurs in the Northern Hemisphere. “The vernal equinox marks the moment the sun crosses the celestial equator.” Doesn’t that sound grand? It’s the date that day and night are roughly the same length of time. Sunlight equals moonlight.

It's a memorable day to herald my mother's birth - to pause, reflect, and celebrate.

Nap before First Daughter's graduation,
 Med School. Tucson, 1999

She has always looked at least 20 years younger than her age. When I was younger, people would mistake us for sisters. And it's not just in appearance that she is young. The saying 'young at heart' truly embodies her.

She regaled me with stories of her childhood and of her life in the Philippines. I can imagine a young tomboy version of my mom walking between the rice fields in the province, balancing precariously heel to toe on the raised borders. I can picture her young brothers swinging joyously on the potted plants hanging from their balcony. My mom was supposed to be babysitting them, but instead she sat obliviously reading a book. With her stories, she instilled in me family history and Filipino identity.

Gahanna Flea Market, 2018

                                 

At three years, carrying a doll against my will (above right)

She is artistic and creative - painter, potter, artist, writer, crocheter, crafter, and amigurumi creator extraordinaire.

She has a flare and sense of style all her own.

"Supermodel" - really? Photo, V.E.V. Acadia National Park, 2017

New Year's Eve, 2020

 Her style consists of vibrant colors, acrylic heels with glitter, and clashing prints. Vernal equinox, remember? 

I was always impressed that she earned a Masters in English and Comparative Literature - especially because English was not her first language.

She has three grandchildren who adore her. She is aptly named Adoracion. One of her granddaughters is named in her honor.

She has a giddy laugh that makes everyone around her smile and laugh too. However, her easy laughter makes her the least likely to win the “Try Not to Laugh Challenge”. Her own grandchildren don’t want her on their team!

She has a generous heart. Her six brothers used to say that her wallet was too stuffed and they would “help her out to make it lighter”. She frequently gave me her jewelry, clothes, and shoes if I liked them. She could never say no to our golden retriever’s begging, and slipped him morsels under the dinner table. She underprices her crafts, and sometimes gives them away freely to pleading children. 

Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad Trip. Photo, I.T.V. 2019

She always has, and still does, possess these very special traits and quirks that make her uniquely her. Earlier she wrote that she was pressing pause to reflect on the before. I say that the celebration is not just of before, but of now, of today. It is spring!

Happy birthday, Mom! 🤍

AVH

03.21.2020